Take this pink ribbon off my eyes...

** Here be spoilers : If you have not yet read "Mansfield Park" and intend to do it -Though you'd better not-, do not proceed further**

Well, well, I finally did finish Mansfield Park. What a disappointement, reader. I had found a novel by Jane Austen that I had not yet read, and I was so happy, and I started reading it, and I was already a little less happy, but then around page 350 things got interesting again, and then IN THE END, it all went terribly wrong and terrible!

I knew it was not going to be the best book I ever read, because I had had some advice from my sisters, who told me it was not her best book. But then again, I wanted to read some proper Jane Austen to compensate for reading that novel about her supposed life, which annoyed me a little. And I did not want to re-read a book I had already read, because I was not in the mood. So I thought, let us read Mansfield Park, it might not be her best, but it's bound to be really good, like all her other books.

It was pretty good in some parts, really interesting, and incredibly funny (I don't think I ever laughed so much out loud reading a Jane Austen book before) but I just couldn't like the characters as much as I usually do. That Fanny Price girl, honestly... I don't know if you've ever read Mansfield Park, reader, but she is just terrible. She's shy and perfect, she's always incredibly nice, and never does anything that would not do her credit, she never hurts anyone, speaks softly and has pale eyes, and is very pretty. Who cares about such a girl? Let her be a little witty, a little mischievous, and it'll get me interested! But as she is, really, angel-like and perfect, honestly, she just calls for disappointment.

Anyway. She's in love from childhood with her stupid cousin Edmund, who is perfect too, of course, and beautiful, and rich, and clever and wants to be a clergyman. COME ON!

Of course, he's in love with someone else, and she has to put up with being courted by some other guy, who is quite cool, for a change, and really bad, a kind of Willoughby, and he's called Mr Crawford. I'd rather be called Mrs Crawford than marry a guy called Edmund, whatever their respective characters may be, but even considering their attitudes to life, I'd rather spend my life with a terrible flirt than with the image of perfection. Nothing to talk about but kindness, how great our neighbours are, and maybe, once in a little while, criticize some girl's behaviour. Well OK, the other characters really behave terribly, but still, at least they do something! Nice change!

In the end however, Saint Edmund does marry Saint Fanny, and I do wish them joy. I'm sure they'll have plenty of children, only I don't know if they'll get to really know them, since I'm sure they'll start glowing like lightbulbs as soon as they're born, and then they'll fly directly up to heaven, through the nearest window, with the little wings they were born with.

Not a decent proposal scene in the whole book, too! Honestly, that's not serious! So I decided I needed to compensate, and am now reading Emma instead. I did not remember quite how witty and clever it was, and I'm enjoying it very much. That Mr Knightley, that's someone. I think I'm going to hell...

Nightwish...

Hey reader! Tonight, unprecedented event in my life, I went to the circus with my aunt, my cousin A, and one of her friends. It was a really cool experience, and much better than, I confess, I thought it would be... Here's a little account of my evening...

First of all, I should always ALWAYS remember to bring my anti-asthma medicine everytime I get out of home. I found out weird new allergies tonight... Horses I already knew I did not really enjoy... confirmed tonight... lamas I had never tried, and it did not prove to be a success... but weirdest of all, elephants, which must be the stinkiest beasts in creation, have a weird, anti-allergic power. I guess the smell just anihilated all allergenes in the atmosphere for a little while. Maybe it stunned my nostrils or something. Anyway, I stopped sneezing, which was a nice thing.

Also, I must tell you about Mr Crow. I was looking at come strange chinese guys with twisty hats and colorful skirts, and praying for their lives, because they seemed to have really bad suicidal tendencies, when I was puzzled by the entrance of what I thought was the Angel of Death. Unexpected. It was actually just a guy, dressed as The Crow (you know, The Crow, the guy who wanted to be a member of Kiss, but decided Superhero was a better career choice?). With twisty hat by his side, I must say it was kind of disturbing. I mean, the crow did not only have The Crow's make up, he also had leather trousers, a long leather jacket, and the quaintest little top I've ever seen, with fake diamonds on it. It showed off his muscular belly, and his belly button too. It would have fitted a 13 year old girl. It fitted him too...

The show went on (because as you know, angel of death or no, The Show Must Go On), and a guy came on stage, and went through a clothe hanger. He did some really weird stuff with all his articulations, and I prayed for his life too, and it was very puzzling. But that's when our angel of death went through his first identity crisis of the evening. He started singing. I would have put him in the "I was in a garage band called Kataklysm when I was 15" group. He actually, and most unexpectedly, turned into some kind of punk-rock-underground-Bryan Adams. Like a Backstreet Boy stuck in Marilyn Manson's clothes. He had a good voice, really. Puzzling...

He left the stage, only to be replaced by another big group of chinese guys, dressed as grasshoppers. I know why people love the circus so much. It reminds you how much you actually love your neighbor. You really don't want to see anyone die live before your very eyes. Not crushed by elephants' paws, nor eaten by an overweight tiger, nor squashed after a 50-feet-plunge. You actually love the human race in general. Would someone tell that chinese guy that his leg is not supposed to be where he just put it?


That's when the crow decided it was time for him to get the party started. He felt he had had enough of waiting around, it was actually time to begin the ritual sacrifice. He called some of his black priests to help, who came, accordingly, and ripped his short girly T-shirt off (!). I could not believe my eyes. The crow! A Chippendale!! He then proceeded to hang himself to some huge elastic straps, and did an amazing number of acrobacy. Amazing. Flabbergasting, I would even say.

I think that next came a woman who did cool stuff, hung by her feet to the roof of the big top. Really cool, she had such LONG LONG HAIR!!! Anyway, it was the end of the show, and time for the artists to come and salute...

That's when our friend the angel of death, bored, (I mean, so many people had risked their lives, and he still did not get his share of the cake), decided he'd give up on his soul-snatching career. Well, I guess something broke, inside him. Disappointment at having snatched nothing tonight, maybe. He decided he's change courses again, and that his real destiny was to be harlequin. He did not have much time to change, though, and he apparently lost the big dress-up lottery, because he ended up in a yellow, checked polyester suit, which really suited him very well. Only it did not really look so great with his make up.

I like those times, when you are expecting something, and you get what you expected, only there is a little detail that makes you wonder if you have not just fallen into the fourth dimension. I had that feeling tonight, and I'd like to thank the angel of death, who really made my day. Besides looking good, I mean. Because even with a little girly top underneath, I can't resist long leather jackets... XD

Oh, and here's to the guy who tried to write a text message with his butt, on the seat just in front of me. I do hope his mobile still works.

O captains my captains!

Well, I figured I might as well talk about my top 5 favourite male characters. It's going to be much much tougher. It's going to be terrible, I guess. Even worse than the 5 female character's I'd most like to be. Once more, I feel like I have to make excuses, so I'll just say it again: It's not classified in any kind of order, and it's just today's top 5, it's incomplete and some people who are not on it might very well turn out to deserve to be in it much more than those who actually are.

Well, I guess I'd better just shoot instead of being terribly boring.


1. Captain Jack Sparrow. Yeah. Oh Captain, my Captain... Ultimately cool, really. Funny, witty, and incredible looking. I think it might well be my favourite movie character ever. You just can't beat Captain Jack sparrow.

2. OK, so I'll start grouping people up, because otherwise I'm never ever going to make it. In the same bag, right here, I'll put Spike, (Buffy's Spike), because he's incredibly funny and carries the whole last season on his shoulders as well as many an episode with Riley the Endive in it. (Endive = Chiccory, by the way, I just checked that up in the dictionnary). He's English, too, by the way, and he's got a nice voice. Next in point two comes Malcolm Reynolds. It's in point two as well because it's a Joss Whedon Character. And next in point two (again) comes Han Solo, because I like him for the same reasons as Malcolm Reynolds, and I wouldn't want to have written them twice: they are strong and stubborn and more or less reliable, only you know they are when it really matters, and they are classy and fun, and they are at war with their respective beloved, (a Princess with LONG LONG HAIR for one, and a prostitute for the other) only everyone knows they love each other. In the end, I'm sure they'd have ended up together, in Firefly, if only Fox had given them time enough to get back together.

3. (I guess I'd better stop cheating... but then again...) Rohit, in Kal Ho Naa Ho. Rohit is in love with Naina, only she's in love with someone else. And he's incredibly generous and kind about it. Besides, he's fun, as well. Fun really is important. And he's got a nice smile, and he's doing that weird thing with his legs while dancing the disco, which really amazes me. OK, so I guess I'd put Colonel Brandon in there as well, because they are both unlucky in love, and very generous about it. Colonel Brandon comes from Sense and Sensibility. He's in love with Marianne Dashwood, only she's unhappy in love with Willoughby, who's a terrible, terrible person. I guess Colonel Brandon also has my vote because he's played in the movie by Alan Rickman, who is a great actor, with an incredible voice, and said he wanted to tear Robin Hood's heart out with a teaspoon in another movie. I doubt that he can do that weird thing with his legs while dancing the disco, though, but then again, I'm not even sure I'd want to see him try...

4. Now comes my Number 4, also called "cool englishmen". It's a really far fetched association, I'll admit (though, honestly, it doesn't seem as terrible as Rohit and Colonel Brandon), but I'd say Geoffrey Chaucer in a Knight's Tale (Ahhh, Paul Bettany!! He's just brilliant! The accent, the height (Taller than me!!) the class and the backside... ) and Dr Who. I don't know, they both look like overgrown asparaguses (asparaguss? apsaragus? asparaguzs?), and one of them has got eyeballs twice the normal size, but I'll say it again, would David Tennant ever care to come knock on my door and ask me if I'd travel to the past with him, I'd say yes immediately. I think. Not to mention Paul Bettany. I'd probably do a little dance first (which might make him run away even before hearing my answer).

5. Inigo Montoya. From the Princess Bride. He's just brilliant. You want him to win so badly really. It doesn't happen too often, mostly revenge doesn't seem to me as a very valuable cause, but Inigo... I don't know. Maybe it's because of his cool speach, might explain it. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die". Clear and concise, explains it all... I give him a vote too.

Now I hope Dr House never comes on this blog, nor Moulin Rouge's Christian and Much Ado About Nothing's Benedick, nor the Dead Poet's Society's Captain, nor Neo... ugh... I'm going straight to hell for being a terrible ungrateful person.

Have a nice day! I'll go roast in guilt!

My shirt, my hat, my books, my trip to the zoo...

New idea, reader!! For a change, instead of writing stuff about the latest book I read, or the latest movie I saw, I thought I'd tell you about the five female fictional characters I'd most like to be. Once more, I am afraid I did not classsify them in any kind of order. I classified them in the order in which they came up, in fact. Besides, as most of my top fives, they are just today's top five, and not any kind of general and eternally right top five. I might write a completely new one tomorrow. You never know. Soooo, let's go...

1. Jane Eyre. Well, she's not pretty, and if I could, I'd rather be an incredibly pretty and wondrous creature with glamorous lips and a pretty glow to her skin. Rather than a "sprite". But I'd still put her in my top 5 list of the fictional characters I'd most like to be like. Just because she's nice and lives true to her principles. She's independant and loving, she's solid and well... I just wish I could be more like Jane Eyre. Like perfect.

2. Martha Jones. Now I expect this one's not going to be recognized by too many, she's the Doctor's friend in Dr Who. I wish I could be her, just because she gets to do so many cool things, and had he ever asked me to follow him to some weird trip in his time machine, I'd have said yes too. Maybe. I wish I were Martha Jones, once in a while. Aslo she's pretty and strong and clever and all. What's not to like ?

3. Elizabeth Bennet. Complete lack of originality for this pick, I know, but well, Elizabeth Bennet... What wouldn't I give to ride horses in a great big park under the willow trees in the company of Mr Darcy? I said Elizabeth Bennet, but I would also like to be more like Elinor Dashwood, who is perfect as well. And suits my purpose of riding horses under willow trees in the company of gentlemen. Only if I ever did ride a horse under a willow tree, I'd be likely to get swollen and red in a matter of seconds, and to have bloated eyes and a running nose, which would not be so romantic I guess. But then again, if I were Elinor Dashwood indeed, I would not have been allergic to horse because ozon would not have made me allergic, and I'd probably be just fine. Long evenings by the fire, embroidering purses and talking about Shakespeare's sonnets, here I come. Only I've never read any of Shakespeare's Sonnets. Well, I can remedy that, for sure.

4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Because she hardly ever complains and she's so strong. Now that I come to think of it, I'd also like to be Zoe, and Inara (except I might choose another line of business), Kaylee, Willow and nearly all female characters in Joss Whedon's fictions. Well. You know. They're all ulitmately cool. Except for River Tam, Drusilla and Glory, who are just a little too weird for me to really like. But still. Good thing too, they rarely have anything to do with horses, what with flying around in spaceships or living in an American city, so it's quite all right. Besides, what wouldn't I do to be a crew member of Captain Reynolds, or one of Spike's acquaintances?

5. Princess Leïa. THE HAIR! THE LONG LONG HAIR!! And also, Han Solo. And the style. And the coolness. And the cool tresses. Which takes us back to THE HAIR!! THE LONG LONG HAIR!!Then again, I don't exclude the possibility of my being allergic to Ewoks. Sad but true. Anything hairy, but me, and then again.

Now I'm sure I've forgotten a good dozen of the fictional character's I'd most like to be (not to mention the fact that it's probably fictitious and not fictional), but that's what I thought of today. Might be a 'continued' post, you never know...