Nothing is written

I've been to the cinema, reader. I don't know exactly what happened, but it got me all crazy. Not the film itself, more the way back... I walked, for like an hour, and upon coming home, I felt like a sock: turned completely inside out, with a few strings hanging out.

I've been to see Jane Eyre, actually, and I knew upon going that it was going to be a weird experience, and that I probably wouldn't enjoy it. But hey, it's Jane Eyre, it's my favorite book in its own way, it's important, and I wouldn't have missed it. I did not like it (big surprise there), but how could you possibly get angry at someone for failing at an impossible task? I don't actually think it could have been any better. I think probably Charlotte Brontë would have approved, and the girls next to me at the cinema had obviously never read the book and got out intending to do it. So, well, mission accomplished, I guess.

Please forgive the crappy photo-video thing I just had no idea for a picture, and I really like the song, and find it appropriate.

I personally think that filming Jane Eyre is impossible. All the details matter too much. All that she says, all that he says, all the "little" characters on the side (her nurse at Gateshead, her teacher friend at Lowood, everyone matters in their own way). I think that's what makes it such a good book, actually, there's hardly anything that's not useful (only St John, if you ask me. Not useful at all, and a terrible bully, as well as a bore. Someone should rid us of St John once and for all. He's insufferable. Yes. I said it. Insufferable.)

I would have made it differently, of course. I would have added more of this, and cut a few of these long shots of her walking under blossoming cherry trees, but honestly, there were really, really good ideas. I think what I would do is make an 8 hour long version, with EVERYTHING in it, except maybe make Lowood slightly shorter, and St John slightly less annoying The trouble is, in order to produce all this, I'd probably have to make some concessions. Like put a huge battle in it. With orcs, and elves, and someone screaming "Haldir! To the gate!", and probably she'd need a sidekick. I don't think Jane Eyre would be quite the same with Jar Jar Bings telling her to "cheer up, missi".

Two things I can't forgive, though, even though it's perfectly well cast, made me cry, and did turn me inside out, after all (that must mean something): Rochester never says "He would not rue his bloody blunder more than I now rue mine", and that's like filming Hamlet but cutting the part when he says "To be, or not to be", and also he doesn't accuse her of trying to drown him in his sleep, which is one of my favorite parts of the book, and which was exactly the excerpt that they chose to print in the leaflet that they distributed at the cinema. Why would you make me read that scene again, make me want to see it very badly, and then not put it in? Why? I do not understand it.

Anyway. Do go see it, though, it was actually good. I did not like it.

Comme envie de crever ton chat...

Reader, I can't take any more. I'm not like that, usually, I don't ever talk about politics, not here, at least, but well, this is the Internet, and on the Internet, any fool can express their opinion, whether sufficiently informed or not, so this here is mine. The opinion of an uninformed fool. Here are 5 things that, truly, really, profoundly and deeply annoy me about France these days.

1. I cannot deal with the blatant populist crap that's been vented by the people in power over the past few months. We are dealing with all kinds of troubles, these times, a terrible economic crisis, war in Lybia, it's not like it's a light news week, and yet, what do we talk about? We go on and on about state subsidies for the poor and how that's too much already. We start a 20th debate about Islam in France. As if that was going to make anything better. As if the problem with Islam and France was not that we talk about it as if it were a bloody problem.

2. Follows on 1.'s heels: Why can't they see that it doesn't work? Why can the moderate right-wing people not just wake up already: the number of their supporters are plummeting, the extreme-right party is getting more and more successful... Maybe it's time for a change in strategy, what do you think? Come on! Come on! I listen to them and they remind me of Fox News maniacs. I like my country better when it's lukewarm. The outdated racism we are dealing with these days makes me want to come home and fight. It makes ME! want to go home and fight. You might not really know me, reader, but I'm one of them half-hearted, don't really give a damn kind of people. What I'm saying is: It's bad.

3. That thing with the head of the IMF. I don't know if it's a terrible ploy against him as a person or if he just snapped, I don't really care, to be honest, it's a sad story either way. But in any case, that's one more interesting candidate for the French presidential election 2012 down, and it's depressing.

4. Follows from 1 and 2 as well: people are getting louder and louder and feel less and less guilty about voicing hateful, racist points of view. I've seen a piece on TV today, a typical xenophobic rant, things that I might have found... well in a way normal from an 80-year-old, because well, it takes time to know enough to not fear the people coming over to your country. From a bus driver. He might have been 40 something. Is that really what it's all coming to? Are we not a little bit cleverer?

5. The media, too. I'm not really blaming it on the reporters, they do their job and report, but maybe, maybe if we did not jump on every occasion to broadcast racist rants and backward remarks, we would have less of a problem with people broadcasting their own racist rants and backward remarks on the bus. But then I might be wrong about that, because, as they say, know your enemy.

Well, I sound just like the holier than thou pains-in-the-butt that I would like not to become, but it just had to come out. I just had to say it. This is NOT GOOD, and I really, really wish it would stop. Self-righteous rage is not a good look for me.

Note to self...

Dear future Claire :

Whatever happens, come wind, come rain, if you're alone on a friday night and feeling pathetic, DO NOT, DO! NOT! Decide now's the appropriate time to try listening to Radiohead's OK Computer. It is wonderful indeed. But it's giving me a blue screen (ha ha ha).

PS: In case you were wondering, I'm perfectly fine, and will be fully operating again tomorrow.

Shore to shore

I'm back from working in Dakar. I'm sick, I'm sunburnt and I'm exhausted, but it was pretty cool nontheless, when I think back on it. So here are 5 things I learnt over the week I spent there...

1. I can get culture shock. It takes me 2 days to get over it, and then I feel much better. But it has weird consequences : I get scared of everything... cockroaches, people, cars, getting my bag stolen, getting sick from the food, getting sick from the mosquitoes, getting sick from the mosquito repellent, getting lost... 2 days, then I feel much better, but it really had consequences on me that I would never have thought it'd have. It turned me into a real sissy, is what I mean. For 2 days. Then I was just a regular sissy, but at least I started talking to people and enjoying myself.

Still, I'm really angry at myself about the cockroach issue. A big, red one with large antennaes, on the wall in the bathroom. I'm NOT SCARED OF SCORPIONS, but a stupid cockroach nearly got me screaming like a girl! Ok, I am a girl, but you see what I mean. Stupid crap animal jumped on the toilet seat, then on the floor, then ran away between my feet, making awful, terrible little clicking noises on the tiles with its gross little legs. I might have gone : "meeeeeeeeeeeek", but it was just ultrasound, and I don't think my roommates noticed anything.

2. Opening the blinds, and having a gorgeous view of the sea is all I need to be in a good mood in the morning. Was that so very complicated? Is that too much to ask? Honestly?

3. I cannot negociate. I've heard on my last day that when someone offers 20 000 FCFA as a price, you need to say "5000" and then reach 10 000 in the end, halving the difference everytime. I tended to say"19000", then the guy would say "you're robbing me!" and I'd end up paying 22000 and leaving a tip. If I had stayed a few more weeks, I'd have had the GDP triple.

4. I found a cause I'm willing to fight for. I saw a guy, alone, with a sheet of paper (a sheet of paper, a regular one, not a banner or anything). He'd written "I'm fed up" on it, with a red sharpie, and was marching down the alleys screaming "I'm FED UP!". I wanted to get his contacts and become a fan on Facebook, but I was in awe, and did not have the presence of mind to go and talk to him.

5. What EVER happens : Sunscreen.

So yeah. I had a pretty good time in Senegal, ate a lot of grilled fish, talked to a bunch of really cool people that I would never have had the opportunity to meet otherwise (the interpreting team really was very, very cool, and I do hope I'll get to see them again at some point).

Living in a Winter Wonderland

Oh man. I'm slowly defrosting on my bed, and my fingers are still numb from the coldness outside. I did nothing at all yesterday, so today I figured, it doesn't matter if it snows, I'm going into town. I'm a tough polar bear. I'm so hot I never get cold. Something like that. Didn't quite work out, and I ended up in Starbucks, hugging my white chocolate mocha as if it were my true love come back from the war. Now that I come to think of it, it is very possible that white chocolate mocha's my true love. Anyway.

I did nothing at all yesterday, except for chatting with my sisters on Skype (I love Skype. I love Skype and white chocolate mochas) and I talked to them about my new appartment, and my sister F said that sharing a flat was often awkward. You can count on my sister F to find the exact, perfect word. AWKWARD is what it is. And fun. But also awkward. So here are my top 5 awkward things about the first days you spend in a new flat. May not be the most christmas-y or the most refined and ladylike post ever, but hell.

1. Food. It's awkward having everyone know what you eat. I decided this time I would only ever eat my meals in the kitchen, because I need to socialize, and because it's going to help me not gain 10 pounds (because when in the kitchen, I tend to get nervous and think things like "I'm sure they think I eat all the time. I'm sure they noticed the lack of greens in my diet, I'm sure they JUDGE me. Because obviously, my flatmates have nothing better to do with their time than watch my diet)... But the amount of question it raises is staggering. Do I cook just for me, do I make enough for the others as well, even though we're not eating together, do I knock on their door and tell them I've made some food, or do I leave people alone? Awkward.

2. Laundry. Now, here, in this appartment, the wire-thingy on which you hang your clothes to dry is located in the kitchen. This is a problem for underwear-wearing people, like me. I generally solve this problem by hanging things in my closet, except, obviously, I don't have a closet, because my room contains... well a bed, and nothing else. So I opened up a cardboard box, and made a nice little underwear tree, that I hid behind my bedroom door. It looked comical. And slightly embarrassing. But it's already disappeared, as if nothing had ever been there.

3. The passive-agressive quality of washing the dishes. Because I'm fine with washing the dishes in the sink when I wash my own dishes. I don't think my roommates are sloppy, and I'm very happy for them to leave a few plates in the sink. I'm no clean freak (understatement of the century), and it's all perfectly OK. However, I have noticed in the past, that people tend to understand you washing their dishes as a message to wash their own dishes in the future. It's a little bit awkward.

4. Getting up late in the morning. Getting up at all. In fact, my problem, I think, is that I'm always trying to pretend I'm a pretty princess that doesn't ever sleep and that looks fresh as a rose at all times. And eats healthy food and gets up at 6 every morning to go jogging in the snow. So when I open my left eye at 11:30, and figure it's time to roll off my bed, looking like I've been trampled by a horse, you better hope there's no one in the kitchen. Worse of all is when there's someone LURKING in the kitchen (like I do), sitting at the table and silently drinking some silent coffee. Awkward.

5. Music. Ok, in our case here, it seems pretty straightforward. I know what they like and don't like, they know I'm the folk/pop kind of person. BUT: can I play a CD in the kitchen while making cookies? Do they hear my music when I play it in my room? More importantly, do they hear me laughing out loud when watching Craig Ferguson alone in my room? Awkward again.

Anyway. Here you are. Ever experienced flat-sharing awkwardness yourself, reader? By the way, I hope you like the pictures in this post, absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I took them here over the last few days, so I figured I might as well post them.

Too cool for school

Hej reader.

I'm in Köln again, looking for a flat, and I couldn't resist the impulse to come over here and blog a little bit, to fight off the panic attack.

I HATE looking for flats. I'm no good at looking cool. Especially not at looking cool on purpose. I have three visits planned so far, and they all seem like nice people, but I always go giggly and daft when I meet potential roommates (or, more generally, people) for the first time, and then I panick, and it makes everything worse. I have terrible, terrible giggly-issues.

So here I am, the incarnation of misery, lying on my hostel bed, trembling and lightly drooling, saucepan-eyed and looking like someone who's in the queue to see Saw 3D. I mean, honestly, who wants to see Saw 3D?

Anyway... I don't really look like the incarnation of misery, tough, I look more like Frankenstein's bride, because I saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show yesterday, and it made me want to wear bright red lipstick, which is a weird idea, especially when you're me. But I figured, bright red lipstick is cool, a little bit like me, Claire, the Ideal Flatmate. I'm FlatGirl, the superhero who's great at sharing flats. Actually, I might stick to that name. I'm FLATWOMAN!! BOW TO ME!!

See? See what room hunting's done to me? I'm losing it!! Losing my last marbles!

Anyway. Apart from that, everything's fine, and be sure that I'll keep you posted on my flat-hunt. Who knows what I'll find this time! Probably a Plutonian or something. At least one of the flats I am going to visit already told me they were "alternative" and the kitchen was "somewhat less than perfectly equipped". I bet this is the one...

Anyway, sorry for being all crazy, I thought maybe a non-top-five post would do me good, and I do feel a little better now. Less panicky. More professional. I'm like a bounty hunter. I'm like Trinity, only cooler... My my... This is going to be fun...

Not in Notthingham

Well well well, reader. My mood has been going from bad to worse over the last two days. Isn't it terrible? TWO DAYS of terrible mood? Has any creature on this earth ever suffered such a terrible ordeal? Am I overdoing it already? Sorry...

Anyway, I figured, "go back to your blog and complain some more, it helped a little bit last time". So here goes. 5 things I don't like about being in a bad mood (because, as you know, many people enjoy being in a bad mood... See, I started out kidding, but I for one must admit, I sometimes cultivate my bad moods by listening to K's Choice or the Babyshambles, which have got nothing to do with one another, but still both work very well either way. But tonight's bad mood is one of those you'd just like to go away, like a toothache...)

1. I hate that I'm not happy for people who are happy. I think that's really bad. People write e-mails to me, saying "I've got a new girlfriend, and so does everyone, new love grows on trees*, life's beautiful, my holidays went great, and I'm loving life..." and I'm all bitter and mean and I think "well good for you, you schmuck, how about you stop polluting my mailbox with all your... happy?" and then I turn into a big ball of self-hatred.

2. I hate that I blame it on the bad weather, the stars, the atmospheric pressure, what I ate for dinner last night, the book I'm reading, anything but just my mood. And then I get annoyed because I figure: why could I not just be unhappy and in a crap mood? And then I get annoyed at myself because the answer to this question is: because I have no good reason at all to be unhappy and in a crap mood. And then I turn into a big ball of self-hatred.

3. I cry and talk to myself and rationalize and think about why I'm so down, and then, it figures, I can't think about anything but me. Which is just exactly the problem. I am the problem (which is good news, really, since I am also the only thing I can change, in here), and I can't think about anything else. Then I figure this is all both silly and very selfish, and I turn into a big ball of self-hatred.

4. When I'm bored enough by number 3, I start thinking about what's really not going well outside of my head, and then I start blaming things on tectonics, destiny, German, my grand-parent's neighbours (of all people, yes, I blame it on YOU, Mr P. from OberE. in Alsace), freakishly-tallness and Charlotte Brontë, and then I turn into a big ball of self-pity.

5. I talk and talk and pester everyone with my petty problems. I know this sounds like I'm fishing for "noooooo, you don't bother us", but I really am not. It's related to number 2, I think. I can't think about anything else but why I'm down, and then I can't talk about anything else (because talking, in most cases, though not always in mine, requires thought prior to execution.) Then I find someone to talk to, and I figure "stop it, stop it, mayday! mayday! your mouth is talking! incessantly! quit it! now!" and I just can't, because it's coming out and out of my mouth like... well like I'm being sick, really, which is gross, but in most cases you feel better afterwards.

But you know what, reader? Moods like that, they go away after a while. Maybe tomorrow, I'll get paid, the sun will shine a little bit for a change (it's bloody August! It's like 15 degrees outside, and it's been raining for days on end!), I'll call both my sisters and my brother too, maybe see my friends and make cookies, and I promise I'll come back in a better mood. C is for cookie. That's good enough for me.

* That's not mine, of course. That's courtesy of Pete Doherty, whose permission I did not ask.

We'd up and fly, if we had wings...

I am not in a very good mood right now, reader. Not in a very good mood at all. My sister F left, after spending nearly 2 really cool weeks here in Colmar, I am home alone, the weather is crap, and I am experiencing a bad case of the MSN annoyance. So I figured I'd log off, and come over here and write an annoyed post. Which reminds me that I have not written anything on the Cranberries concert I went to last week, invited by my best friend V, and which was great (zoommmmbie, zoooommmbie), even though... well, I'll write something about it soon.

Anyway. In order to spread the joy and surf on the mood, here it is : the top 5 things that annoy me about clothing these days.

Let me, first of all, say that I am not a fashionista. The sheer fact that I say "fashionista" proves this. I am not good a getting dressed, I was laughed at throughout junior high for wearing jeans that were too short and having a haircut that made me look like that thing you use to scrub the burnt part at the bottom of pans and pots. My hair hasn't changed, though I manage it a little better, but I now only wear jeans that are a leeeettle too long, to compensate (hell of a challenge, when you're more than 6 feet, I tell you). Still, I enjoy shopping and choosing clothes. They are, also, a necessity (I don't know if you had noticed this fact, but they really are). Sometimes, however, designers seem to take a particular delight in making them as inconvenient as possible...

1. "Dresses" that have no skirts. Oh come on. Ok. Mini-skirts are sexy, we live in a modern world, and I have no moral objection to them as such, people should just go ahead and show as much as they are comfortable with. But then again... How about you guys give us a choice, maybe? How about you just add a teeeny little bit of fabric, so that we can sit down, and maybe even stand up, and maybe, even better, not have to pull everything down and look daft everytime there's a tiny breeze? I'd like a study to be made about that. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one annoyed. Once again, I'm freakishly tall, which only makes the problem worse, but still...
You find the puuurfect dress, English old lady style, but slightly modernized, maybe with some tiny pearls sewn on it, or maybe with a little lace here or there, and then you take it from the rack, and it's actually a glorified t-shirt which would suit Kate Moss, but no one else. I hate, hate, hate clothes that are too short.

2. Trapped clothes. You go to the shop, you find a lovely, black t-shirt, with the right cut and a nice neckline, you're happy as can be, and then you turn it around, and there it is, a huge pink heart, bedazzeled by a colorblind maniac, with ruffles all around, and something like "Lovebirds are forever" written in gold lettering underneath. I think having stuff written on you clothes is, generally, something one should be circumspect about (cf that guy we saw the other day in Strasbourg with "iPood" written on his T-shirt, and a guy sitting on a toilet drawn underneath. Oh puh-lease).

3. Clothes with a piece missing. Armless pullovers more than anything. Things with only one shoulder. Things with only one sleeve. Ok, sometimes I find these pretty on other people. But armless pullovers? They are pretty too! Oh, of course, they are pretty, the fiends ! But then: why wear a bloody pullover if it doesn't KEEP YOU WARM AT ALL? Why, why, why? This is probably "so last season" or something, but it did really drive me mad last winter. Impossible to find any stupid pullover with arms on it. Are you trying to save money, Mr H&M? Well, you sure won't get mine. Said the girl who'd been looking for a sleeveless cardigan for weeks...

4. The fact that the clothing industry manages to change my TASTES. It freaks me out a little. One of the most ridiculous clothing items I heard of over the last few years is most definitely the "sneakers with frills" footwear thingy that I saw for the first time in the Parisian subway, maybe... three years ago. At the time, I figured: aw come on, this is just ridiculous, sir (yes. It was a sir, not a miss. He was wearing white sneakers, but the tip was shaped like that of those italian mocassins things, all pointy and aggressive). And the other day, I saw a lady in the street wearing one of these ridiculous pairs of Converse with heels, and I thought "Oh, cool". I don't like it very much when someone proves that I have no opinion of my own...

4. The fact that they had me convinced that I couldn't tie my shoes anymore, there, for a while, because tying your laces is not "fashionable". Are you crazy, people? I'll tie my laces the way I want, you're not the boss of me. Ok. So maybe I will hide the knot a little bit, just in case someone looks at my feet and laughs. Because nothing interests people more than the way I tie my laces, apparently. One more Junior High trauma, there. Because I figured "hey, who cares if my jeans are a little short, honestly" and then people did care. It was an insult to their sense of fashion that you could see a thin slice of my socks between the bottom of my trousers and the top of my PROPERLY TIED sneakers. Life's tough this way, when you're 12 and don't have a care in the world.

5. Jeans that are meant to be worn low on your hips, (actually meaning that you can't sit down in them unless you are wearing a long t-shirt (or maybe, say, a "dress") on top), high heels shoes in which you can't walk, those t-shirt you never can figure out quite how to wear. But hell, that's also what I love about clothes. They are unconvenient and sometimes, you need to have a little imagination and be a little clever, cause they're not just meant to keep you warm. They're here to make you feel secure (which sometimes involves giving you blisters, just to remind you of their presence), pretty, and sometimes proud, when you've tamed them.

Anyway. Here was my rant for today. If you are now in as bad a mood as I was 20 minutes ago, you can watch this here. Will make you feel better. Or this here. Won't make you feel better, but it's still nice, I figure.

Sense and...

Well reader, there we are, I am back to France for a little while before going to Belgium on brand new adventures! Wonder what will happen when I come back from there, I tell you... I have so no plans at all, I am starting to make some to move to New Zealand and become a sheep farmer.

So, yeah. Over and done with Stuttgart, where I actually spent about three days over the two and a half months I was in Germany, since I actually lived nearer Böblingen. Still, I'll say Stuttgart, it's bigger and more well known.

I hate leaving. I hate packing, I hate saying goodbye, I know it's not very original, but it's true. I've kind of had enough saying "see you soon" to people while knowing I won't, actually. I've had enough of leaving, but I've not had enough of going places, and I still am always happy to come home, so I guess I'll have to deal with some more of that sooner or later...

Still, as you say goodbye, you like to look back on the good things that happened while you were away, so here are 5 things I loved about living in Germany over the past two and a half months.

1. My roommate. Now it would be a long post if I had to go over the details, but my roommate was great. He enlightened me about Bärchenwurst (sausage shaped as a little smiling bear. Would you agree to say it's a little wrong?), Dosenwurst (tinned sausage --very wrong, no argument there), Schweinskopfsülze (you don't even want to know), powdered little bugs swimming in vitamin-flour (still not over this one), death metal underground punk dark clubs, how to use my blinker, cinema from modern-time eastern Germany, quite a lot of music, the difference between Abend and Nacht, Nacktschnecken (a slug, in German, is actually officially called "a naked snail". Is it not great, reader?) the difference between a star and a faraway plane and many, many other things. For all this thanks, very sincerely. And if you hear me, which you don't, mach's gut. Please.

2. The cool people I met. An incredible quantity of cool people. A special mention to H. our really great "nearly-neighbour", fun and interesting and welcoming, and his friends B and G with whom I had many great evenings, to B, my roommate's best friend, who is quite simply amazing and whom I wish I had had time to know better, here's to V, also, who was very drunk and said, "I am full wie die Badewanne" the night I met him (in so many words, half English, half German. A Badewanne is a bathtub. I suspect it was close to reality). Won me over. And to R, as well, who had, weirdly, an é in his first name, and who made me feel at home even though I was not, and to all those who were patient and OK with repeating things when I had to ask them to. I appreciate it very much. Once again, thanks go to M, my roommate, for helping me meet them all.

3. Much less important, but Subway. We don't have Subways in France (at least, not in my region). We should.

4. The culture of Barbecue. How great is that? I love barbecue as it is, but in Germany, they take it to a whole new level. Marinated meat, amazing sauces, incredible amounts of so called "baguettes", salads and potatoes and potato salads and hanging around in gardens with your friends... What's not to love, I ask you? Ok, maybe smoke and bug bites and smelling like bacon for days, but even smelling like bacon for days can be seen as an advantage. Who doesn't love bacon, honestly?

5. The faraway-so close aspect of Germany. Germany's abroad, there's not denying it, however close the Alsacian culture may be to that of our neighbors to the East, and yet I feel weirdly at ease over there. Also the fact that I could go home and see my friends and my family whenever I wanted was nice. Maybe I'll go back there soon, and visit some other part of the country... More preparation for the European tests in April might still be a very good plan... I heard Hamburg was wonderful... Any advice?

After the storm

Reader, I've officially had enough. I'm a healthy young woman, and I've been sick for one week in a row, that just cannot be tolerated. Back pains, then a really bad cold and temperature, and today, migraines. Now I'm complaining again. Sorry. Still, I figured, while I am sick, why not let others enjoy a bit of what I learnt over my last 5 or 6 migraines. Could be helpful. Most of these 5 hints would be considered common sense by most. But, you never know. Hence: Top 5 things NOT TO DO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES when you have a migraine, or feel a real bad one coming up.

1. Watch Eyes Wide Shut. Now I would say that one of the things NOT TO DO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE even when healthy is watch a Stanley Kubrick movie, but I might just be mean. I never could watch any until the end, so I suppose I cannot and should not judge. Still, Eyes Wide Shut with a migraine is an even worse idea than Eyes Wide Shut when healthy, and that's saying something. I stopped understanding anything, saw black patches all over the screen, nearly threw up on my Australian cousin, who was home at the time, and then went to bed and cried myself to sleep. One very, very good night for me.

2. Go to you german sight translation course, even though you know you are the only sucker who goes there every week, and you are bound to end up alone and helpless. But I already told you about that one.

3. Pretend you're fine and go have a friendly chat in German with your roommate and his friends. Who are listening to hard style techno music. Makes your head pop. I've come back from the dead to deliver this message to you : No hard style techno music OR German conversation when you have a migraine. What happened to me is what happens to the aliens in Mars Attacks. T'was not pretty, and from above, I can see my roommate trying to scrub the remains of my brains from his scorpions' terrariums. (Sorry, gross)

4. Go for a walk because you figure maybe fresh air would help. Even though the German countryside is beautiful and the cherry trees in full bloom, it will not improve your situation, you will want the stoopid birds to shut up already, and generally hate anyone driving a car.

5. Read those Harper Connelly books by Charlaine Harris. She's the one who wrote the True Blood books, which are great and very funny. The Harper Connelly series is very good too, but much less funny, and much more Stephen King like. Absolutely gross and very dark and cruel. Bad, bad mix when your head already hurts and you just want soothing. I just want soothing, reader. However, the Charlaine Harris book has got me hooked, and I want to know the ending. Sometimes, you must suffer.

Well, here we are. Yet another self-pitying post. It's actually not so bad, and I'll be much, much better tomorrow, the situation has done nothing but improve over the last few days. I hope that you are doing good!

Noch mehr Spass hätt' ich daran, mich selbst ins Knie zu schiessen...

Never, ever before did I use the word "derelict" as often as I did today. In fact, I do believe that I had not, ever, used the word "derelict" before today. And it's funny, because "derelict" happens to be exactly how I feel right now... But it was a new contract, reader!! How about that! Brain-melt completed at 8 p.m. tonight, but at least, it was interesting and it was some work.

Anyway, now that I am coming back from Lille, on a train and bored with my eeeeeePC (I can never remember how many eeeeez there are. Even when it's written on the screen right in front of me...) I figured I might as well just get on with it and write a new top 5. Today, the top 5 things that PISS ME OFF in a completely irrational way (pardon my French), even though they are really not important things at all.

1. Slow and/or crappy ATM machines in French train stations that do not properly record every number you type in, and then they think that the PIN-code is wrong and they beep terribly loudly and say things like "NO! WRONG CODE! HA HA HA! LOOK! HERE'S YOUR TRAIN ENTERING THE STATION! YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT GETTING ON IT!" and then all the people behind you complain to the people next to them and sigh heavily because not only are you either a thief or a dimwit, but you are also wasting their time. (Do you love the word dimwit, reader? I know I do). Someday, I'll stay next to the stupid machines once I have my train ticket, and then wait patiently and make fun of the next person in line who gets into trouble for typing his or her PIN code too fast. Being annoyed doesn't necessarily make me charitable.

2. My cell phone when it runs out of batteries. I hate it when it cuts me off mid-sentence, especially when said sentence is "I'm sorry, I have to go, I'm afraid my battery is l..." and then I feel like I'm rude, even though it's hardly my fault. I think the stupid cell phone could hold on for 2 more seconds. Just 2 more. C'mon.

3. My headphones when they get all knotted up in my pocket and then I have to detangle the whole thing in the subway with everyone there having nothing metter to do than watch me. I have to say, though, this one is really just my fault. First of all, because I can never seem to manage to have my headphones last longer than 2 weeks. Second, because the only headphones that I have had for more than a year I have destroyed as much as I possibly could without actually damaging their ability to produce sound. I separated the two wires leading up to my ears, and now it doesn't just get twisted any more, it knits a bloody pullover in my pocket everytime I put it away. Also they are the weird kind with the wire for your left ear reaaaally long, and the one for your right ear really short, and then you have to go all the way around your head to put them on properly and it annoys me. It annoys me much.

4. People making noises in waiting rooms. I have never been able to understand how it happens that you can sit next to them for half an hour and not notice anything, but once you hear that they are chewing their gum loudly, or maybe breathing heavily, or fidgetting with their key-ring, then it drives you completey nuts. Happened to me twice tonight. And I was already derelict before. Imagine how I feel now!

5. Streets where house numbers have been granted by a madman who couldn't count. You arrive in the right street, you're looking for number 145, and then you notice that next to number 12 is number 324. Then there's number 98. And that's in Lille. But if you're in London, you must also distinguish between 345 Crescent Road and 345 Crescent Street. Makes me completely mad. Wakes up the Godzilla in me (which is never really far beyond the surface I must say).

Anyway. Here are some trifling things that annoy me beyond expression in my daily life. Because some times, it's nice to write these things down, it helps me remember that I don't have real problems, and I have enough time to worry about my headphones getting knotted up in my pockets. Tell me about you!! What's annoying to you?

Oh! And also, before I forget! I wanted to share with you this sentence by Anne Brontë, in the preface to "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall" (see how I don't write Tennant with a double N? I had to make a real effort!). Made me laugh to myself on the train this morning, and it was before 7 a.m. so it must have been real funny :

"...if I can gain the public ear at all, I would rather whisper a few wholesome truths therein than much soft nonsense".

I'd like to offer my sincerest apologies to Anne Brontë for getting all mixed up in her advice and doing exactly the opposite here. Now, next time, I'll try to find a fex wholesome truths for you, and you'd better be ready and polite, even though "He that [has the courage to dive for the truth at the bottom of the well --don't ask me, I'm just copying this from a book--] will be likely to incur more scorn and obloquy [yes, you hear me right, obloquy. And scorn.] for the mud and water into which he has ventured to plunge, than thanks for the jewel he produces."

Now, this may well be tasteless persiflage from my part, but the preface to the second edition to the Tenant of Wildfell Hall is sheer brilliancy, from beginning to end, obloquy included.

Next time : post n° 200!! Any good idea of something special I could write to celebrate?

White blank page

Random fact time ! No top 5 today. Just random facts:

-My "official" computer, the apple of my eye and the essence of my days, has been fixed by my super-powered brother in law V. I can now type with reasonable intervals between the keys, which is really nice. Feels like luxury, after using me eeeePC for so long. Like for a week, that's how tough my life is... I'm very glad about this, and so here we are: an Internet tribute to V, whose week-end was spoilt by my merciless nagging.

-Have you ever listened to Mumford & Sons? I heard of it on Craig Ferguson, the other day (today, in fact), and when he said "English pop-folk band", and said their album was named after a Shakespeare sonnet, I knew I'd love it. I was right. I mean, what's not to love? English, Pop, and Folk. With a little Shakespeare thrown in. Do listen to their songs, they're really brilliant, I hope they're really, really successful, and I likes them much. They have banjos and they sing together and they're like the band that needed to be invented just for me. At the crossroads of Joe Purdy and Flogging Molly. (And a little bit of Damien Rice, as well, though that's not my favourite side of them, with all due respect to Damien Rice. There's only so much Damien-Riceness I can take, and Damien Rice himself should stay in charge of it).
Go on Deezer right now, reader, and tell me what you think. (I have discovered them today, I might have forgotten all about them tomorrow, but I don't think I will.)

-What I like best about modern society and the internet is THIS type of things. I don't know if it's me, but it makes me cry. This one does, and the Belgian one in a train station where everyone starts singing "The sound of Music" too. And then I feel better about life in general.

Here are my news for today. Three random facts. I have to say: This month of fFebruary has sucked. I hated it (apart from some cool stuff, like my sisters coming over, or going to the movies with my friends). I hope March will be better, and I'm sure it will, with the help of flash mobs and Mumford and Sons and sunshine and more good stuff. Blank slate: now, it's time for the spring.

Lots of love,
Me

Rows and rows of big dark clouds

It's Sunday. No big and interesting adventure ever happened on a Sunday. I hate Sundays. I don't really, cause they also mean sleeping till 11 a.m., only since I don't really have a job these days, I can pretty much sleep all I want any day of the week, which robbed sundays of their sole purpose. And outside of family reunions, I really do hate sundays, because there is nothing interesting to do on a sunday, and I don't know why, but they seem to be rainy all the time. So today's top 5, in honour of Crap-Sunday-Weather, will be the top 5 things I sould remember not to do when I am down on a sunday, together with possible solutions. I do not actually believe there is a cure to sunday crap-ness, but you never know. There we go. I should not :

1. Listen to the music I want to listen to. What I should do is choose whatever track I feel like listening, and then pick its exact opposite. I should avoid, in particular, listening to sad tunes (it only ever makes things worse. Patty Griffin nearly killed me today. By the way, about Patty Griffin... Is it cool to listen to Patty Griffin ? I like it, but I also have to be pointed out what's cool, so I'd really like to have your opinion... Long Ride Home is such a nice song...)

Also, listening to rock music that you believe will make you more... say tonic and... wake you up is not a good solution. I tried the Babyshambles (whom I really, really love), and all it did was adding a wish to kick the furniture and punch innocent walls to a feeling of down-ness. Whatever you call it. It's no good.

Because then either you stay aggressive till it's time to go to bed, or you do punch a wall, and then you hurt your hand, and then you feel so stupid you want to punch yourself. I would say... stupid hip hop stuff. Or maybe also "Superman (It's not Easy)" by Five for Fighting. But that might just be me. Cause it's a sad song, but it makes me feel happy, somehow. Scouting for Girl also does the trick (especially "James Bond", which is really cool).

2. Go back to bed and do nothing. Then I feel bad because I haven't done anything worthwhile with my day and it adds guilt to the lot. Baaad idea.

3. Start making a complicated recipe that I always wanted to try. Are you crazy, Reader? On a gray sunday under the sign of Craponus, roman God of failures? Usually, I find out that I am missing a key ingredient AFTER I melted half a pound of butter. Then what do you do with half a bloody pound of melted butter? Drink it? So no complicated recipe.

Then again, you might never have thought of baking a cake just because you're down, but that's what comes up first when I think about things I could do when I am bored. It's also valid for any creative work. Start with what you do have, and then figure out what you could do with it should be the general guideline.

4. Procrastinate. Cause it's sunday and you're supposed to rest and you're entitled to do nothing. No good at all. The logical thing is to start on the most boring task you can think of. Like... I dunno... cleaning the windows. Because, look at it this way : you are already bored to death doing nothing, so why not go on being bored to death, but at least figure you've done something worthwhile at the end of the day? (There, even I would argue that cleaning windows is really not worthwhile at all as long as you can see through them. But I'm sure you see what I mean).

5. Go. On. Facebook. Going on Facebook when you are bored will only EVER make things worse. I don't know why I like Facebook so much. I think I like the Facebook pages of other people so much that I pretend I like it myself in order to absorb some of their coolness... Doesn't work. Three hours spent on FarmVille are a good equivalent to drinking half a pound of melted butter.

Now, reader, time for me to follow my own advice and go 'glossarize'. I promise I'll write something a little more... interesting and cool next time. When the sunday afternoon jinx is gone again. Have a nice week-end!! Hu hu hu... that sounds kind of cynical now, doesn't it? Well go ahead, then! Clean the windows!!

Love is hard...

Hi Reader !!

Here's a new top 5 ! A new Top 5 inspired from my sister F's Blog a few weeks back. The Top 5 Things I love even though I'm terribly ashamed to admit it. It's such a brilliant top 5 idea. And yes, there are things that I am STILL ashamed to admit, even though I already told you so many shameful stuff. Let it be known that I still hesistate here, line 5 of this post. Maybe I'll just give up and not publish this message. But let us be brave and write on. Nobody reads this anyway. And those who actually do probably know I have to be ashamed of a lot of stuff. Bollywood, musicals, my multiple crushes on nine tenth of hollywood actors (notwithstanding Orlando Bloom), my hopeless love of Dr Who... Aaaaah, so many things I should be ashamed of, and stand up for, against all odds... (whatever...)

Well, enough procrastination, here comes the actual top 5.

1. Rrrrrrrrrghhhhhhaaaaaaaacan't say it ! Can't say it !! Thhhhhhe Twiiiilight-----(Ok, ok, no one knows my actual name. No one is interested anyway. Go on ! Go on ! Breathe ! It's easier if you say it fast...) Hhhhhh... hhhhhh.... THE TWILIGHT SAGA. Feels better now it's out.

Yes. The Twilight saga. I read the four books in two weeks, stayed up all night to know the ending, and found it great. I liked it, I liked it, and I firmly intend to go ahead a read them again some time soon. Also I went to the cinema, and saw the movie, and will go ahead and pay for my ticket to watch the second one, might even watch it twice and pay both times. And even though I laughed at the sutpid joke that goes "what do you get when you cross a disco ball with a douchebag" and the answer was Edward Cullen (yeah, cause in Twilight, vampires glitter. I also laughed when I found out...) I still must admit it. I liked the books very much.

2. English-old-lady style dresses. Put a dress with tiny pink flowers on it in any clothes shop, you can be sure that I will take a fancy to it. If given the choice, I would probably look like an English Gran all the time. Probably comes from all those Jane Austen books I read. By the way, have you seen "The Young Victoria" ? If you have not, you should, it was pretty good, and they had great dresses. It made me giggly (especially Sir John. Go, see The Young Victoria, and giggle at Sir John for me. His life is crap, he hates everyone, and he kicks the furniture around. I thought he was swell). I would like to see it again, actually. And Paul Bettany's in it. What a great, great link to point 3...

3. Well, I must admit, my kind of man. Tall, blond, blue-eyed. This is, I must say, quite shameful. And very unoriginal. But well. Here it is.

4. My willingness to see anything that's a musical. Even if it's French. Even if it's Le Roi Soleil and I bought the CD. Oh, no, no, no, this is never going to be published on my blog for all to read. Le Roi Soleil, yes, I must admit. This is sooo less cool than secretly being a gothic punk fan and listening to Hard Kaur, F, if you hear me... But well, I liked it. I still kind of do ("Je fais de twaaah mon essentieeeellle..."). Still recovering.

5. Oh so many songs and groups and music styles that I KNOW are not particularly clever but still love to listen to, very loudly, in my MP3 player while I brush my teeth. Rihanna, Britney Spears, the Sugababes (oh my...), and the Spice Girls, and also, even, too, Billy Crawford). There. I said it. I wrote "I love to listen to Billy Crawford" on my blog.

Help me ! Tell me what you love and are ashamed of before I wilt and die !! Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi. You are my only hope.

Mmm mmm mmm mmm

(That's a song, by the way. Crash Test Dummies, as I'm sure you'll have guessed)


Anyway. I have been, once again, reading that blog, which has been recommanded to me by my sister M, and now I want to eat this, more than anything. I want to eat this when it's still nice and warm, and I want to bake it before, and I want to smell the smell of the hot chocolate in the pan, and I want to smell the smell of the butter melting, and then I want to feel the icing under the knife, and then I want to eat the cake. Eat the Cake. Eat the Cake ! Eaaaaat the caaaaake ! It has replaced all other ambitions. It has become my purpose in life, and my sole obsession. My quest.

But apart from that, I'm OK.

So since I don't have chocolat, or butter, or sugar, or pecan nuts or vanilla, or eggs (in fact, all I have is a pack of flour, and a longing heart) I figured I'd come here and tell you about the cake of my dreams. Some day, I'll go buy some groceries, and that day, reader, I shall be avenged.

Right now, I'm trying to fight off bankruptcy and overweight (why not kill two birds with one stone, after all, let my being broke have a silver lining !), but soon enough... soon enough... I'll go to the Delhaize Express downstairs, and buy all the ingredients. And when that happens, I will take pictures and post them here.

But apart from that, I'm OK.

Have a nice day, reader, and forgive that silly post !

Things will never be the same again

Yeah, I figured quoting the Spice Girls would be a good idea as a title for this post.

You might have heard me, reader, shamelessly spreading rumours about Colin Farrell having failed at the "Backstreet Boys" casting. In order to shamelessly make fun of him. Because he sometimes is ridiculous (Don't ask me why I chose to pick on Colin Farrell and spare all the others. I don't really know anymore. A lame interview in 98 or something...)

I have, in fact, used the sentence "did you know that Colin Farrell had failed at the Backstreet Boys casting" instead of the sentence "Hi, how do you do", for at least two years now. I even risked being beheaded by my friends on several occasions, so fed up were they by my constant reminder of the fact. It was, in short, my favourite piece of information about Hollywood. Even better than "did you know that Princess Leia is in fact the daughter of the cool girl in Singing in the Rain?", which I love too. (I'm not making fun of anyone there, it's just cool, I think.)

And today. Today. Today my world collapsed.

He did not, in fact, fail at the Backstreet Boys casting. He failed at the Boyzone casting. And that too, because he was too famous already and would have cast is magnificient shadow upon his co-boys-banders. You can't see me right now, reader, but I am crying. A simple mistake in the wording, confusing two groups which are basically the same... And now... All is lost.

I must say I felt happy for his Golden Globe, and had pledged to go easy on him after In Bruge anyway, which is a great movie, which I really love and which I plan to buy as soon as it's out on DVD in France, but now, I just feel empty. Confused and sad. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over it. Boyzone. All this time I've been lying.

Here's to you, Colin, if you can hear me. Here's my attempt at being forgiven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mZorO0AzdU

And here's my dignity, reader. Take it out with the waste.