If I had money...

Well reader, I changed my mind. I'm actually not going to be a singer, I'll invest all my money in the stock market, and become very very rich. I found a good way to achieve this, and I just can't wait to meet Donald. Trump, of course, not the duck.

I've spent my day translating an add for a newsletter which helps you win money thanks to the stock market, and I reached the point where I wonder if I should not stop studying right now, and try this technique instead. Of course, the only problem is you need to start off somewhere. Maybe when my song is out I'll have enough money to invest? I'll buy a goldmine first, and then I'll let my money work for me. I just love the concept. I can just see the little green bills and golden coins with their spades and axes, chopping and digging and finding more of themselves, and piling it up in some kind of huge vault under my mansion... Hmmmm... Wake up, Claire, the day's not over yet.

Well nearly, actually, it's time for me to legally go away and do some shopping... Paris, the city of fashion, seems to have taken a violent dislike to my old and shabby gray pullover I bought in H&M five years ago. Apart from the little orange curry stain I made on it two days after I bought it, I hardly see what's wrong with it. I love my pullover. It already looked 15 when I bought it. But it's too hot for such clothing and it's bargain time, and T, the accountant, has given me good news today, so I have a right to go get something nice to wear.

Anyway. Time to go! Good evening!! I promise my next post will be about something rivetting. I just learnt that "passionnating" wasn't a word, by the way, reader! Isn't that amazing?? Anyway, my next subjet will thus be rivetting. If you have any suggestion, please feel free... :)

You'll never shine if you don't glow

Yeah, don't you like that sentence?? Mid-way between an add for 'Head and Shoulders' and a chinese proverb... I like it anyway... Thank you, Smash Mouth!

Today, I wanted to tell you why and how I intend to become a superstar. No, not just a star, a superstar. The Bloody Blunders and myself will have an amazing and unforgettable carreer in the singing industry. The music industry actually, I don't think there is such a thing as a singing industry...

Like a brilliant mind of our times once said (Mr. F. N.), being a singer allows you to have a captive audience, and you can tell them all you want. If they paid their ticket, it means they like you, and are likely to listen to what you say, so becoming a superstar is my first step towards ruling the world. Beware, Bono, here I come!! Soon we'll rule the planet with Bob Geldoff and be nicknamed "the welfare company of the knightly angels". How about that??

Money, fun, and the love of millions of fans come next on the list. Oh, and a free mobile, and above all else, meeting other superstars in parties where you can only drink champagne. If he was very very drunk, I think I might have a chance of winning the heart of Paul Bettany. I guess I do look like a 1m55 tall green-eyed black-haired beauty, provided you have drunk enough Veuve Cliquot!

Now as to the process of achieving superstardom, I found this morning the song that will make me famous. It would have to be a remix, because people like to hear things they already know. It would be the "Do you love me" song from "Dirty Dancing" (no, reader, I am not ashamed...). You know, "you broke my heart, 'cause I couldn't dance, you didn't even want me around, but now I'm back, to let you know, I can really shake'em down..." and stuff.

I made a little marketing study in my head on my way to the metro this morning, and it's got only good sides!! It's got a little 70's touch, which is good, because the 70's are in this summer. (well, I don't actually know, but I'm sure they will be once my song is out). It's telling the listener what to do (I can mash potatoes -I can mash potatoes- I can do the twist -I can do the twist...), same as other immortal hits like "Mambo Number Five", "Macarena" or "With or Without you". Wait no. Not "With or Without You". And it's nice and dancy. I think I want to start my new superstar's career with a happy song. So that people think my CD is happy and makes you feel good and all, and then they buy it, and then I can plague them with sad sad songs.

Well, reader, I think it's time for me to go and get started. I need to find a producer, buy the licence to the song, maybe meet Partick Backside Swayze and check if he would be up for a duet... Or not... Anyway, so much to do and so little time!!

Have a nice day!

Wake up...

Hey Reader!!!

I was trying hard not to write anymore, I was thinking, "what's the point, now that I'm not doing it for class, who cares about what you write", and stuff, but I was missing you soooo much, I had to keep myself from touching a keyboard. Which was not particularly easy, especially now that I am working for the summer. Then I got a mail from my brother in Oklahoma (five minutes ago, to be precise) who told me he too wanted me to write new posts! So I figured, let's get crazy, write a 66th post, and see what happens...

Anyway. Want a little "Claire Update"?? I can't resist telling you about my new job here in Paris. I used to work in this same firm at the customer service, but this year, since I'm doing an internship that has to be validated by my university in Strasbourg, I am doing more of a language-related work. Proof reading, a little bit of translation, it's all very interesting. I'm working on a newsletter about Excel right now, and I must warn you, reader, I think Excel is the tool of Evil. It has extremely freaky abilities which no one knows about: it can summon dialog boxes and turn formulas into weird results you did not expect, and it's the closest I've come to Artificial Intelligence.

And guess what?? We were right to fear, dear Wachowski brothers, it uses its unbelivable abilities ONLY to piss me off. Luckily, I can contact the journalist who writes the instructions, and he is the most efficient hotline ever. Which is good, because I'm very far from being a naturally talented Excel user.

I think I should worry, actually. Maybe he is The Master of All Evil. Maybe I should get a priest to un-bewitch my phone and my computer. I'll work on that.

Anyway. Things are OK for me here in Paris, the weather is just right (i.e. pretty bad, but I like it this way, because the subway in August, with 35°C outside and 55 inside, is my vision of hell. Well, working on an Excel program while standing in the subway in august is my vision of hell. I could add some conditions (the soundtrack and stuff) but I don't want to give you nightmares, reader, that would be cruel of mine.) I like Paris very much, because it's a lovely city, but the office is now in a lousy area of the town, so there is nothing to do but go back home when I get out of work.

But for now, I guess I'd better get back to work, because I'm not here to fool around!! It's my lunchbreak, but it had to come to an end, didn't it??

Hop, au boulot!