Schlaf und Verstand...

I thought I would never actually post anything like that, ever, and I wish nothing had given me the idea, but here it is, prepare, beware, and admire (yeah...) my TOP 5 of the places you'd least like to find a slug. This one is not classified in any kind of order, though I must say number one is number one no matter what.

1. Right next to your right foot when you jump out of bed in the morning. A dried up and blackened slug. I wonder how it could have dried up so fast. I guess a slug must be 80% pure water, and the rest is processed lettuce. Gross.

2. In a corner of your new room. The first reaction is denial. "Noooö, that thing there at the bottom of my wall ? It's a drop of thick black paint someone must have forgotten to clean up. No, I'm not taking a closer look at it. Shut up." This is shortly followed by utter disgust and further refusal to do anything about it. Because there is just a limit to how much a person can lie to themselves. Then, in my case, the solution came in the form of a borrowed hoover (came from my brother's old flat, thanks, P). Now the little dried up fiend is gone, GONE, gone forever, except when it visits me in my sleep... Ah, will I ever be rid of its twinkling little red eyes ?!

3. Exactly at eye level on the glass door of your home when you get out in the morning. You are peacefully hesitating between Rihanna and ABBA to whip you up for your day's work and pressing all the buttons on your MP3 player, and the you lift your eyes to avoid walking into the door, and end up looking straight into those of a fat slug. (Yes, reader ! They do have eyes ! Little twinkling red eyes, as I have mentioned before. At least here in Saarland they do. And teeth too, I'm sure, though I have yet to see them.) Makes you sure that today's going to be a "Paint it Black" day and want to crawl back into bed.

4. Crowded up into little, disorganized armies on the pavement. Especially when you have a suitcase with wheels on it, but I'll spare you the detail.

5. Eating off the corpse of one of their dead little co-beings under the bus shelter on a rainy day. You can't quite go away because you are going to get soaked, you can't take your eyes off the utter gross-ness either, and in the end, you feel like it's going to be a "Blue Hotel on a lonley highway " day. Crap start, never ending, and even worse in the end.

Have a nice day ! I'll go back to my sluggish one ! :)